A Real Story: How to Change the Course of Destiny

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Let me share with you  a real story: How, a rewarding combination of fate and destiny changed the course of my daughter's life events. It happened a couple of years ago but the memory is so vivid, even now!

Before I tell you the story, let's have a clear idea about the difference between fate and destiny which has been explained by Dr. Stephen A. Diamond, Ph.D. through an interesting post at 'Psychology Today.'

"Fate refers to the existential givens of life, those aspects of existence that are immutable, inexorable and inevitable, and over which we can exert little or no control. From an existential perspective, we are "thrown" into life without any choice or responsibility in the matter. We are born into a world at a biologically predetermined time, in a particular place, to specific parents, of a certain gender, and with innate strengths, talents, traits, temperament, limitations and vulnerabilities. All this is our fate, the cards we are dealt in life. How can we hold ourselves responsible for fate?

Destiny is different than fate. Destiny, as psychiatrist Alexander Lowen (1980) notes, "is related to the word destination. It refers to what . . . [we become], whereas fate describes what one is." (p. 49) Destiny is what we do with fate, how we play the hand we're each dealt by fate. Destiny is determined not solely by fate, but by how we choose to respond to fate. We are responsible for those choices. Part of each person's fate includes a personal destiny. But whether that destiny is fulfilled or not depends in part on the person and whether he or she is willing to accept responsibility for and courageously pursue that destiny. Finding and fulfilling our destiny is a principal goal of existential depth psychology."

Let me now narrate the story:

2 years ago my elder daughter could clear her Xth CBSE with very good marks and both me and my wife were seriously thinking about shifted her to a better school. However, daughter was not very keen to change at that juncture - although, she was not very rigid about it -  eventually putting us into a state of confusion regarding next course of action.

Also, we were holidaying  at our native place when the results were declared, and by the time we came back to New Delhi  the last date of admission was over in most of the good schools.

Without any prior registration - mandatory for the schools we had in mind - it was virtually impossible to make an attempt even. So we decided that she would continue in her current school.

However, a few days before the schools were to reopen after summer vacation, I don't know why but called up one of the best school in our original list and was instantly connected to principal's secretary.

When I explained the situation - mentioning daughter's results in course of our discussion - she told me to immediately come to school along with my daughter.

Within an hour we met her, and subsequently she arranged for an interview with the principal. Since we didn't even have the mark-sheet, she took its print-out from the board's website and told us to fill-up the application form.

We did it, and were taken to principal's chamber. Interview lasted for five minutes and my daughter was cleared for admission -- subject to depositing admission fees by 2 pm the next day.

With all financial resources exhausted due to a long holiday and also in view of a huge recession badly impacting my business at that time, I had no money for her admission and it was impossible to arrange it from other sources as well

I had a sleepless night on that day, thinking it over, again and again: How to arrange for so much of money in such a short notice.

Well, next morning my wife called up a petty gold broker at home. I sold out 2 of my gold rings along with a few ornaments belonging to my wife, and together, finally, we could manage to raise the requisite amount.

Immediately after getting the cash in hand - it was 1-10 p.m at that time - I called up admission coordinator requesting him to accept the fees in cash. However, he politely reminded me that as per standard policy I must deposit a demand draft of that amount within  50 minutes, or else her admission would stand canceled!

Now read what happened during those 50 minutes:

1-15 pm- I immediately rushed out to the nearest bank for getting the demand draft made, but my driver, under pressure, broke traffic signal just a km ahead and I got detained by the traffic police.

1-25 pm - When I explained my situation to traffic inspector - who're normally known for adamant attitude -  he, surprisingly, allowed me to leave even without signing any paper.

1-40 pm - With just 20 minutes in hand I entered the bank, but found myself at the tail of a huge Que. For a second I thought: It's all over now. However, deciding not to quit, I approached the girl at the counter and explained. And she, showing a huge positive response, got the draft ready in just 10 minutes.

1-50 pm - Running against time I left for the school and, to my surprise, there was no traffic jam -- quite unusual in that route at that hour of the day.

1-55 pm - I submitted the DD to admission coordinator

1-58 pm - He congratulated me for making it in the nick of time -- just 2 minutes before it was to be over.

How do you interpret this incident ?

For me, it was a combination of her fate - supported by her hard-work based excellent marks - and perhaps my 'never give up' attitude -- that changed the course of her destiny.

She worked hard, I too, in our own way.

So, when fate gave us an opportunity to change her destiny we could successfully encash it, but,  let's not forget the help we received from: Principal's secretary, traffic police, bank clerk! Without their help, it couldn't have happened.

If we could do it, why not you? For that matter, anybody can do it: Through hard work and by not giving up!