From A Recruiter: Is Asking For Interview Feedback A Crime?

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Recently I organized interview of a candidate for a director level position with one of our clients. Meeting was with CEO of the company, and was scheduled in a very short notice.

CEO was attending a program in candidate's city and wanted to meet him during lunch-break. However, candidate, being from the same industry, was not comfortable with the idea, fearing about the possibility of bumping into a few known persons there.

Well, I had to stretch my persuasion skills to a great extent and finally it happened as scheduled.

Within a couple of minutes after the meeting was over, candidate called me up and gave his feedback . I was happy to notice his professionalism and decided to find out other side of the story. So, I sent a sms to the CEO, followed by a email when I didn't receive any response from him.

After a day, when I emailed him again, asking for feedback, he replied with an underlying tone of annoyance for so persistently following up with him, writing : "I need this position filled up more than you and will give you the feedback at the right time, so don't follow-up so persistently."

Slightly taken aback by his reply, I, however,quickly recovered and mailed back: "We work hard to identify the right candidates for our clients and a single line communication - which may not even take a minute - motivates us enough to deliver the best, and also complete the communication cycle"

Now the question is: Was I wrong in asking for a feedback?

I don't know that but one thing is for sure, there was a great mismatch between our expectation level from each other.

Well, an in-depth introspection led to some sort of conclusions: 

Most of my clients are MNCs and very fast in completing information cycle. May be, I expected a similar response from him. However, he, being an orthodox CEO, brought up in a typical bureaucratic Indian corporate environment, perhaps never experienced a 'breathing down the neck' kind of follow-up and got irritated for genuine reasons (from his point of view).

It was a good learning experience for me: That I, as an entrepreneur, must assess, act, and react according to client's psychology. After all, my job is to keep them happy for maintaining a long term business association.

The Price You Pay, For Not Being What You Were!

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What keeps us moving in life? Hope, hope for a better future for self and for people we love and care for. Isn't it?

But, there is price for everything. I heard about it but never believed in, until I paid the price myself.

Yes, I paid the price for not being what I was: I paid the price for being successful in life, I paid the price for moving up the ladder in profession, and I paid the price for being what I'm today.

You can't change your past nor you're responsible for your present, but if there exist a huge difference between the both - you've no option, but to pay a price.

Success brings about a upwardly change in lifestyle and what is natural for you at this moment may appear to be an intended demonstration of your current status.

It happened with me also. Unfortunately, I never realized it until the last moment. When I did, it was over, forever.

Comparison is inevitable. Because, that's in built in humans and has been proved scientifically also.

I wonder, when I - a person, who hardly achieved anything in life - suffered so much, what must have been happening to those so called pillars of the society who came a long way struggling against the odds to be there where they are now.

That's why, perhaps, there is a proverb which says: The successful are always lonely!

An Inspiring Tale of Achieving the Impossibles

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“To achieve the impossible; it is precisely the unthinkable that must be thought.” #Tom Robbins

The news that make headlines are, either sensational, or something that inspire a lot.

One such post I recently read, is about 3 young boys aged less than 16 years who spent more than 50 days on a small boat drifting in the ocean, and remember: Without food and water. What made them survive such extreme adversity is definitely worth a serious thought.

Who the Hell, Introduced Contingency Hiring Concept?

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Tell me about a single business, other than contingency recruitment, where you work hard and depending upon a huge luck factor only, paid later -- often never?

Oh, yaa, there is another, pretty close, where service providers fight hard to satisfy customers and get paid, later. You know, what I mean. However, in this business, unlike contingency recruitment, the payment is assured.

Sometime, I wonder, who the hell started this concept of contingency recruitment where recruiters work madly against no assured rewards.

Look at the funniest part of this game: Same task is given to at least half a dozen agencies, and that reminds of the scenes I watch on 'Animal Planet' where predators fight it out for their share of a kill! Well, there too, most of them manage to get hold of something at least.

Now, don't console me saying, it's like sports where you work hard for winning a medal but without firm assurance.

Sorry, it's business, and in business it pains seeing your hard work generating no revenues unless you reach the destination through a host of uncertainties.

The trauma doesn't end with placing the candidate because you need to ensure that she/he doesn't leave your client within a specified time frame, otherwise you pay your fees back to your client. It's fine if you have received some interim reward, but that never happens.

So, a contingency recruiter keeps trying unless an ova is fertilized and wait patiently for a healthy baby emerging out of the womb of uncertainty.

Do Mobile Phones Cause Brain Damage ?

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During a summer holiday trip to my native place, a year ago, a medical representative turned up to demonstrate the extent of damage mobile phone causes to our brain.

It was not an exciting topic during a hard earned holiday - which happens once in a year with great difficulties - but, out of courtesy I allowed him to continue with a specific request to finish it quickly.

His preliminary lecture was quite scary: Explaining in details how electromagnetic radiations - microwave - emitted from cell-phone virtually fries our brain

But, when he insisted on demonstrating actual frying process with the help a egg placed in a glass filled with water and a cell phone kept near it in working condition, I couldn't bear it any more and very politely asked him to leave us alone.

Well, I didn't want to spoil my holiday but at the same time this incident cast some doubt in my mind and a detailed study followed later. Surprisingly, I couldn't find any investigation report with conclusive scientific evidence that mobile phone poses any health threat, although a few were strongly suggestive in nature -- in favor.

On the other hand, some of the investigation results I found on internet were contradicting the above mentioned claims. Confused with claims and counter-claims, I left it there  and re-captured my holiday mood.

After a long time, I recollected that incident while noticing  the findings of a new Scandinavian study indicating that cell-phone usage don't lead to an increased risk of brain cancer.

It was an encouraging news for me, because cellphone is an integral part of my life now and it's really difficult to manage things without it.

What Makes Us Interesting to Others?

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My wife went on a laughing spree when I shared with her that a few people I had recently interacted were kind enough to call me an interesting person. Least expected though, but highly motivating for someone who's struggling hard for basic survival. Isn't it?

However, knowing the fact that I've never been called an interesting personality before neither I ever believed me to be so, how, suddenly,  I turned out to be one? Good question that certainly deserves an appropriate answer!

I'm sure, it has something to do with the quality of conversation that I had with them? May be they noticed a caring voice, or may be something I said that they could easily connect to. But the fact is: A positive attitude was noticed, and appreciated.

If so, then how come, all of a sudden, I turned out to be so caring? What's that, that brought about this sudden change in me: An infamously arrogant person?

 The answer is: A series of unexpected failures that completely ripped apart my arrogance, making me realize that there's nothing special about me and I'm an ordinary person like a few billions all over the world. A life changing experience.

My suggestions to all highly successful professionals would be: Be grouted to the earth irrespective of your degree of achievements so far and treat others with respect, if you really don't want to experience the pains that I had and remain interesting to others through-out your life!

Why A Feeling of Emptiness, Despite Having Everything in Life?

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This is the question, a reader asked Cary Tennis in 'Since You Asked' column on 'Saloon,' clearly demonstrating a sense of emptiness despite having everything that a normal person can think of for living a comfortable life.

"Dear Cary, I have it all. Life has been good. Though by no means rich, I have money in the bank, a solid marriage and prospects for a comfortable future.But I am happier when I have less.

This life has numbed me into not feeling happiness. I have everything, and instead of being happy, I feel like a glutton. Most people would trade their life for mine in a minute. I have, it seems, done everything the right way -- or at least had timing on my side."

Well, how our eternal quest for something better that we assume would bring happiness into our life, actually  mislead us -- has been explained by Cary and you may read it HERE

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For How Long, I Would be Able to Continue Fighting Against Destiny?

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It started a couple of years ago and still continuing. Never before, in life, I have experienced so much of hardship.

Business is just not picking up and despite taking all corrective actions, nothing is moving in the right direction.

I even vacated the office space, thinking, there could be some correlation between my destiny and that place since the down slide started only after shifting there.

May be, I'm getting a bit superstitious, but, in a situation where I am, looking at every possibility that might have contributed to this unimaginable losses makes sense.

Well, I will not give up and put in my best efforts for turning the tide around. But, for how long I'd be able to continue fighting against destiny?

Republished with permission from "Kushiara"

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We Are A Set of Multiple Personalities, Frozen With Time At Various Life Intervals

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The other day, while talking to a professional connection, I happily shared with him about a common friend who has made it hugely in life and appeared to be far ahead of contemporaries as far materialistic success is concerned.

'OMG,' was the reaction and then he said, "Nice to hear about his success, but you know while working together for a few years a decade ago I could never imagine that a simple person like him would ever achieve such a stupendous success."

What does it mean?

As simple as: You and everything related to you, are permanently frozen with time at various intervals through out your life journey. Your current status would neither upgrade nor degrade the perception of people -about you - who're associated with you during those periods.

I too experienced it during a painful break-up with a childhood friend, who, to my utter surprise, murmured a long forgotten negative comment about me that he used to deliver, jokingly, a couple of decades ago.

Well, now I know that, that was not done jokingly, otherwise it wouldn't have been alive within him for such a long time.

Since we can't change people's perception about us developed at different point of time through-out our life span, the best option in my opinion is to live it while interacting with them without trying to impose a modification.

Because, that will not work rather strain the relationship.

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Control Your Expectations Without Affecting the Actions

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The act of silence is more damaging than actual violence, and in a situation where a response is justified the lack of it inflicts a sense of loss and despair among probable recipients depending upon expectations level.

In professional life, a simple example could be: You wrote a mail to the CEO of a client organization, whom you know for several years and perceive as close to you, indicating a few problems that you're facing  - down the level - with a hope that he would sort them out. However, your mail got lost into the darkness of silence and you never received a reply. That means, he didn't feel it worth sending you an acknowledgment even -- forget about acting on its contents.

Can you really blame him for this stunning silence? Not necessarily. Because, had your message been perceived by him as an important task he would have definitely replied. You can't blame him for not considering you or your expectation as important as you think he should have. Right?

I think in every relationship, professional or personal, there exists a difference between both 'what we expect from' and 'reciprocate to' each other in terms of satisfying our materialistic and emotional needs. 

Always remember, depth of relationship is like two sides of the same coin: One, that's yours and that you can control; the other, you can't and it keeps changing hugely in either direction without your knowledge.

The best way to make your life little better, is to control your expectations; however, never let it control your actions. Keep trying, but be ready to face and accept even the wildest response without feeling bad about it. I've learned it the hard way and I'm sure, anybody can.

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Can We Really Bury Our Expectation for A Reciprocation ?

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Long ago, someone approached me through a corporate connection, saying, he was without a job and desperately looking for a break in corporate India.

His story of struggle made such an impact on my emotional ecosystem that I went out of the way to place him in an organization, free-of-charge, in that process incurring a huge loss of few hundred thousand.

Nothing prevailed over my value system except one objective: Fix his life path. Frankly speaking, I didn't do it with an expectation that when time comes he would return my favor, because I never thought that I could ever be in a similar situation.

He got the assignment and I felt happy, as if I've done a great job. Yes, there was a sense of accomplishment. Well, friends did remind me to use my brain more, than heart, while carrying out business deals.

A decade later, when I needed some help that he could have easily extended by virtue of his current stature, a call and subsequent discussion was followed by a stunning silence from him.

Was I wrong in my expectation from him, or that's how the world keeps revolving?

It's not an unusual story, with most of us having gone through similar situations in life at some point of time, but the question is: Can we really bury our expectations for a reciprocation, practically?

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What Governs Our Ability to Accept the Failures and React Positively?

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It's not failures but our in-ability to accept the same and stride it over, is what makes our life miserable.

'Failure is the pillar of success,' has been bombarded into our amygdala from all possible learning centers of life. However, facing it point blank and living it, is one of the most daunting tasks human can ever think of.

Most of the people who have the guts to accepts their own failures eventually give up in course of time; however, a few adamant, not only accept but embrace it -- and finally come out victorious.

It's not an easy task, since, subconsciously fighting against the influence of evolution governed self-defense mechanism, not many have the emotional strength to accept and react against their own shortcomings.

So what's that factor, that fuels a never dying fighting spirits in individuals?

Well, in my opinion, it's nothing but the quality of upbringing which influences our ability to fight against all odds of life -- and the credit goes to our parents.

Do you agree with me?

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Is Knowledge, Always A Blessing?

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More we gain knowledge, more we learn, and are able to differentiate between hope and ground realities.

Looking at the positive aspect, knowledge makes us understand a little more about an issue helping us resolve it better.

However, sometime , knowledge painfully makes us realize how useless is the hope that we believe in, would change our life for better.

I don't know, if it's better to live with a false hope that keeps us moving or, know and try to accept accept what's impossible to resolve -- and live it, somehow!

Is knowledge always a blessing in disguise, or sometime: A disguise in blessing!

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